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What’s the big deal?
An Evolutionary Perspective
Stress is no joke and a lot of us here in the U.S. wear it like a badge of honor. This bothers me. (this could be due to my overly literal brain) The stress response system that is built into our bodies is designed in a way to help us escape immediate danger .. think “Fight or Flight” response. This is an incredibly valuable tool as at one point in our existence it was very important to have enough adrenaline and energy to escape or fight a terrible situation. (Think of a caveman accidentally crossing paths with a hungry lion). The idea is that we are smart beings with big, smart brains and so we would know not to go in the way of hungry lions, but on that one unfortunate occasion, we have a wonderful stress response system to help save us.
Otherwise, what did cavemen and cavewomen have to worry about? The bugs, the dirt, and maybe the weather. They worked together, moved their bodies, fed off the Earth, and for the most part kept stress to a minimum except that-one-time-Johnny-startled-the-lion’s-den .. and that other time they accidentally crossed paths with the other tribe.
Happiness
What is ‘happiness’? Could you define it? Really. What is happiness? It’s a state of mind, is all. If you feel happy, well, then who am I to say you’re not? So then how do we achieve this all while meeting so many deadlines and sifting through so many cars on the road?
Act like you’re happy
That is exactly what I learned in grad school and it’s exactly what I tell anyone and everyone that will listen: if you pretend to be happy and do things that would normally make you happy then eventually your brain will catch up. This is not to say that stifling your unhappiness is the cure. No way, man. Instead, acknowledge your stress/unhappiness/sadness/anger/whatever, and then get up and go do something that usually makes you happy. It tricks your super smart brain into thinking that you’re okay and so it starts responding accordingly.
Try to be happy
Simply trying to become happy really is the first step and gets you over the biggest hurdle. For me, that’s long walks outside in the sunshine, running, and shopping at the Farmer’s Markets. It sounds crazy how simple these things are (and how trendy-hippie they are) but they totally work. My quiet time makes me so happy and when I’m sad I just shut everything off for a day and dedicate it to these things.
Look like you’re happy
The same goes for your facial expressions: allow them to soften a bit and then re-group the muscles in a lighter, happier way. Your mood will follow suit. Did you ever watch Ally McBeal and notice that “Biscuit” would always offer a forced smile at the recommendation of his therapist? Well, he was onto something. A fake smile won’t cut it, but a real one that comes from deep within will.
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Notice the small stuff
One time I was driving around Miami, completely lost because the “grid” that the natives always brag about is really more like a maze, and on the brink of a meltdown I noticed a row of palm trees that shot up into the perfectly blue and pristine skyline. I smiled. It’s kind of silly because almost every median is lined with palm trees but the fact that they were backed with a bright, blue sky made me so happy. I became so grateful that this was my view when much of the country is covered in ice, and instead of being frustrated I began to enjoy my extra long route (I wasn’t going to find my way to my destination any faster by being frustrated, right??)
Move your body
Just a 30 minute brisk walk can take you from blah to fabulous. Okay, it’s not that simple, but moving your body triggers your brain to release serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine in the brain. These are the same chemicals that antidepressants try to imitate .. so you could be producing your very own antidepressants. And if you’re not depressed? Well imagine what that would feel like!!
The End
These things work for me and though I am human and slip up sometimes (and end up in an irreversibly bad mood) these tricks can often take my sour mood to a pretty great one, quickly. But this is because I practice it very often and as the adage goes, “neurons that fire together wire together.” What this means is basically that your brain is like a muscle. The more you use it in a certain way (like harnessing happiness) the stronger those connections will be and the easier it will be to just have the best day ever ..
xo
My Recommended Happiness Boosters
Also, I have some tangible tricks up my sleeve, as well. When I need some intense personal therapy I often brew a cup of tea, rub some lavender oil on myself, put on Micahel Franti, make myself a chocolate treat, slather myself in luxurious butter, and just have serious me time. These items are my go-to items for this, and this book (or any book by David Sedaris) is pretty damn funny and makes it hard not to just be happy.
Great article. Have you read The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin? I think you'd like it, it touches on a lot of similar concepts and ideas and is very thought provoking.
Thanks 🙂 Yes I have seen it! She does such a fabulous job making happiness a relateable and approachable topic. My father in law turned me onto her!
Twenty five years ago, I broke my neck in a head-on collision. I didn't know if I'd live through the night or not. As I lay there on the gurney, I thought over the previous several years that I had devoted to work that didn't nourish me but which paid exceedingly well. It was work that consumed my days and nights and work over which I cried many tears. I thought, as I lay there, "If you die tonight, you'll never have sung your song. You'll never have found what makes your heart sing. You'll never have really lived." I made up my mind at that moment that, if I lived, from that day on EVERY day would be the best day or my life. And so it has, for twenty five wonderful years. I have learned that happiness is a choice. A life style. A way of identifying yourself. A declaration of gratitude for the astonishing gift of just being here, whatever comes our way.