SO grateful

It finally happened. The broke bloggers nightmare came to fruition: my computer crashed. It was bound to happen and I was sort of counting down the days until it did. You see, I had a MacBook. A black MacBook, to be exact. If you know anything about MacBooks then you know that the black ones are ancient. When I was in college I had a full ride academic scholarship that was pretty spectacular. As a part of the scholarship I received a MacBook along with a book stipend and on-campus housing and dining.

  And don’t worry about making me feel bad about spending triple on an Apple product compared to other brands. I’m aware of the price difference but I’m also aware of the fact that it meets my needs best and I’ve never had a single virus or defect until my computer crashed two lifetimes after its purchase date.

So I told the Apple guy exactly what I wanted, asked him a few questions about the operating system and storage capabilities, then handed over the cash to make the purchase. It hurt, big purchases always do. It especially hurt because I’m getting married in two weeks (eek!!!) and so a lot of our funds are going toward that big party instead of other things. So yeah, not the best timing.

But on my drive home, as I looked over into the passenger seat to see my beautiful new laptop wrapped up nicely in the white box, I felt incredibly grateful for it all. This is a lot of money, there is no doubt about that. The cost is not lost on me. But what I had just accomplished became so apparent to me. I am a young professional woman that has a secure job with enough balance and safety in my finances that I could actually afford to purchase a new computer. I have my struggles like anyone else and I certainly have dreams that I cannot afford that I’m still saving up for, but to be able to pull from my savings, confidently, and make this purchase felt just as good as it did bad.

I became very proud of myself in that moment. I am a young woman and I made this purchase intelligently. I did not do it in a panic and I did not do it because Macs are all the rage. I did not do it in haste and I did not do it without first having the funds. I did not do it because some other pretty chick had one and I did not do it because it represents status (God, I hate “status”). Instead, I did it because I needed it as a part of an investment for my future goals and I was able to do so because I’ve met the many goals I had years ago: to be a young, independent professional woman.

I hate that I have to get up at 6 a.m. and I don’t get home until 9 p.m. .. but wow. I’m doubly employed even though the economy is really hurting. 

I hate that the humidity is so damn thick that I can hardly breathe but wow .. I am free to roam around in the sunshine as I please.